Phubbing Comes Ruining Your Moment

 I Sit and Watch You Reading with Your Head Low

Young man preferring smartphone over his girlfriend at home.
Source: stock.adobe.com

by Dimas Hadi Santoso

    Staring at phone screen has been a habitual to us. We type and scroll through social media, view and watch friend’s stories, connect and interact with long distance mates. Regarding connecting and interacting with long distance mates, the habit becomes unpleasant toward our real life situation namely, phubbing.

The portmanteau showed up in May 2012, Australia. Phubbing refers to phone and snubbing. This terminology means someone has a habit of playing phone while meet face-to-face with others. Phubbing tends to be rude because they seem not paying attention to or are dismissive toward conversation or others. In this case, a victim will get offended and aggrieved because of getting phubbed.

According to kemenkes, negative effects of phubbing will be ruining relationship and influencing mental health. Relationship encompasses family, peers, and lover. When we are at the same table and/or having dinner, we obviously want to have a pleasure moment by conversing or sharing stories. When we pour out our stories yet get phubbed, we will feel worthlessly exist. That is why phubbing will ruin your relationship. In addition, this will mentally and emotionally affect a victim because of getting phubbed will feel offended or aggrieved then they become.

Additionally, a PKM group from UPI state ”Orang yang menerima perlakuan phubbing dari lawan bicaranya tersebut akan cenderung melakukan hal yang sama. Akibat menerima pengabaian karena lawan bicaranya fokus pada smartphone, maka orang tersebut juga akan melakukan hal yang sama dengan fokus pada smartphone-nya. Sehingga perilaku phubbing berdampak pada menurunnya kualitas hubungan sosial. Lebih luasnya, perilaku phubbing juga dapat melemahkan kemampuan berinteraksi secara sosial dan melakukan hubungan interpersonal”

Based on psychologytoday.com these are ways to react a phubber😉📱

“Do you need me to wait until you take care of that?”

“Do you need me to reschedule?” I'll need feedback on some of the things I have to cover, and it looks like you have something important to check.”

“It looks like there is something important you need to attend to. I can come back later, or we can talk at another time if this is inconvenient.”

    We hereby realize that sadly phubbing becomes a normalized habit which is risky to lower your conversation flow, relationship quality, and trust. Moreover, if someone has already invite you to be their listener in pouring out their stories yet you carelessly pay attention to, your reputation will turn into a dismissive person who is always distracted by phone.